One of the goofy white dudes from Vampire Weekend. via Wikipedia
I’m not a music-hater, but allow me to do some hatin’. As a musician, I can appreciate almost every type and kind of music, but that doesn’t mean I enjoy listening to everything. And although most of the bands on this list fit the kind of styles I generally should like, whenever I hear them on Pandora or Slacker I get pissed off and immediately hit ‘skip’ or change the station. I even liked and listened to most of these bands at one point, but no more. Things change, and while I can’t really explain why some of these artists anger me the way they do, I’m sure there are deep psychological reasons for some.
Vampire Weekend – Cute little band for hipsters. Maybe if I wore thick-rimmed glasses and were rich I’d be a huge fan, but I doubt it. Not that there’s anything wrong with that …
Ben Harper – You’re cool. I dig your music and your sound. But f**k you. Absolutely no reason why.
Jack Johnson – I don’t live on the beach and I have a job. Haven’t had the opportunity to surf yet either, so stop shoving your happy, melancholy beach business in my face.
Nirvana – Never, ever been a fan. Yeah, I get it. They started a movement, they were incredibly influential. I don’t care. I refuse to listen and always have. Maybe it’s because I was the lone person in junior high who didn’t have a Kurt Cobain T-shirt. I just can’t do it. Dave Grohl will always be the man though.
Phish – Very few moments in life compel me to actually listen and pay attention to this jam-band powerhouse. I’m sure seeing a live show would make me appreciate them more — and I really do think they’re some of the most talented musicians around today — but listening to a Phish CD just seems weird now that I’m out of college and no longer own my VW camper van. The song “Waste” will always hold a special place in my heart though.
Ironically, no Phish was ever played in this glorious van.
Lady Gaga – Just … no. I know I’m not alone here.
Again, as a musician I can appreciate the talent and creativity that all these artists bring and they’ve obviously been really successful. And although I may cringe at certain types of music, I give props where they’re due. All these bands deserve their success and maybe in the future I will reconsider. But I just can’t do it. It’s a gut-feeling thing. So sorry if you’re offended, but not really.
